High Anxiety

Nate Heiss

Once upon a time, I made elaborate plans to attend Magic tournaments. I rushed through the morning worrying about arriving at the site on time, having my deck fully sleeved, and making sure I had all of the correct cards available. I would usually get to the site a few minutes early and mull around, wishing that I did not have the spare time that was so labouredly earned. I began to wonder about how I would fare in the first round, amplifying the intense pressure around me.

I used to be a choker. I would be so nervous that I occasionally shook in the wake of my almighty opponent. If by some chance I would defeat my worthy opponent, I would accredit the win to luck or some divine presence shining down upon my hapless soul. If I were to somehow make it into the Top 8, clawing my way up through the ranks, I would choke in the worst possible way, make the worst possible mistake or simply opening my arms in welcome of the coming thrashing. It was all quite pathetic.

But one day, it stopped. Actually, it was more of a slow transgression that did not start until well after I attended a few Pro Tours. Strangely enough, it began in the lowest point of entry, the PTQ system. At some point, I decided that the nerve-wracking attitude I was taking was not beneficial to my results. I learned about the matter by watching others who had the same habit, observing how their rickety attitude affected their play skill. I saw them losing games they should have won, second guessing themselves out of Top 8s, and planning to side draft before round 2 had ended. It was self-sabotage and I was not going to stand for it any longer.

Now I am fearless in the face of opponents and have been for years. I never worry about what they are holding in their hands. I never ask "What if?" I use more intuition in my play, finding logic to be faulty at times due to false information. Sometimes I just need a gut feeling to turn all my cards sideways; it does not come from skill, but rather a lack of fear. Actions, no matter how strange, may put a kink in an opponent's logic. They may act differently on the basis of my intuitive plays.

Case in point: My dad. A long time ago, back in my fledgling days of Magic, I taught my dad how to play the game. There are actually a lot of people in my family that play (or have played at one time), most of which come from the (Mike) Turian side. My dad would bumble through various steps of the game, but every so often he would cast something or attack with some creatures for no apparent reason and it won him the game when all the dust settled. He had no master plan, no prior experience, and no cards up his sleeve, but he won because he had no reason for his actions. He did not fear a counter attack or a possible spell in my hand (mostly because he did not know enough of the cards to fear them), but simply played as if he owned the table. In the end, the fantasy turned to reality, and my life dropped to zero. Of course this was not always the case, as taking action without reason is often fatal, but it happened enough to get me thinking.

Case in point #2: Mel Gibson in the movie Ransom. While Mel Gibson is a stark contrast for my father, he accurately depicts the dynamics of stress, fear, and anxiety in the feature film Ransom. He plays a millionaire whose child is kidnapped for two a two million dollar ransom. After a botched attempt at a drop, a very distressed Mel decides that the kidnapper will kill his son if he decides to fork over the two million. He decides his only course of action is to reverse the flow of anxiety to its source by going on national television and stating that the two million dollars will become a reward on the kidnappers head instead of a ransom. Because of this act (he later doubles the reward), the kidnapper is marked for death unless he decides to return Mel's son unharmed. The fear finally gets to him and he orchestrates a way to return Mel's son and collect the reward, except that the kidnapper ends up getting his just dues in the end. Through understanding of anxiety and fear, Mel successfully recovers his child.

Many intuition players operate like this, without fear or anxiety of the next step and they have varied results. The most fearless feel that they are gambling the game on their actions in a sense and they are not surprised when they are trumped and beaten. They are probably the most unsuccessful of the bunch, ignoring all logical pointers and casting spells like a happy-go-lucky munchkin. While they may have an immense amount of fun, I doubt that many wins are recorded on the match slips of pure fearless players.

Toning it down a little, the next level is the player who relies heavily on intuition, but also does a fair amount of calculation. Players like this have a large amount of success, since they have a better sense of when to trust their intuition and when to ignore the little voice in their heads proposing a suicide attack. These players usually have a low anxiety level when facing the unknown and can keep their head in a hot spot.

While freezing in the headlights can spell imminent doom, a small amount of anxiety can be a healthy thing. Certain players can only perform while under pressure, feeling the effects of a turning stomach. Terry Tsang admitted in his 1999 Pro Tour-New York report that every time he felt sick at the beginning of a tournament due to anxiety, he performed much better. When he actually vomited in the bathroom before the first round, he knew it would be a great tournament. He went on to make Top 8. While this may be a gruesome example, it stresses the point that fear and anxiety can be great motivators as well as detriments.

Some people get too casual in a tournament environment to the point where they could care less if the game does not go their way. While this is fine if they are just out for fun, they probably will not find themselves in the upper echelons without some desire to win. The fire of desire is victory's greatest ally. That fire will never blaze brightly enough to provide an edge without a little anxiety. Very few people can truthfully say that they cut through a field with wild success and had no stresses on their mental capabilities.

The pangs of anxiety are something to be respected. Every player has them while waiting for the next round to start. No one knows what the future will bring. Respect for the future will lead you through the match. Know that your opponent may have the trump to your plan, but do not let that cost you the game. Respectfully fear the answer they have, but do not let it alter your strategy so much that you will lose the game either way.

Anxiety can also be used as a weapon. The first way to use anxiety is to bluff it. Make your opponent think you are scared and stressed. Perhaps let him know that you only got five hours of sleep and the stress is fogging your mind. Get him to become overconfident and see if he makes a mistake. Let him know that you are trembling in your shoes, knowing that he will always have the answer. Just make sure that when he does not have the answer, act surprised in order not to hurt his feelings while you trounce him.

The second way to use anxiety for your own benefit is to instill it into your opponent. This is more difficult to do than looking like a sitting duck, but the results are more rewarding. The most common way to do it is trash talking. While much of the old school make-the-little-kid-cry trash talking is considered unsportsmanlike conduct (punishable with match losses or ejection), some cleaner forms of the art are perfectly acceptable. Mike Long and David Williams are masters at this, using timed remarks and questions that mount on each other, creating psychological tension. Other ways to instill anxiety in your opponent is to simply look intimidating. Zak Dolan, the first world champion, was an extremely intimidating man, which unquestionably accounted for many of his victories.

Overall, the dynamic of anxiety in Magic is a very important aspect that is close to all of our hearts. Some of us overcome it and some of us need it to thrive. Sometimes we can instill it and sometimes it rattles us to our core. No matter what, anxiety will always be a factor in the way we play our game.

If you have any questions, comments, stories, suggestions, or a general 'hello', feel free to email me at nateheiss@yahoo.com.